How To Tell Potential Partners You Have An STD

How To Tell Potential Partners You Have An STD

How do you tell a poten­tial part­ner that you are infect­ed with a sex­u­al­ly trans­mit­ted dis­ease? It’ll be one of the most dif­fi­cult con­ver­sa­tions you have with a part­ner, but it’s also one of the most impor­tant and cru­cial ones you need to have with them.

Con­fess­ing that you have an STD is no easy feat. After all, the shame that goes with the stig­ma can make it hard for peo­ple to even broach the sub­ject with past, present and future lovers.

In just the past two years alone, the num­ber of young adults with an STD has increased by 500,000. This is def­i­nite­ly some­thing to con­sid­er, which is why talk­ing to part­ners is key in con­trol­ling the spread of STDs.

If you’re going to start dat­ing again and have an STD, there are some help­ful tips to help you with the dif­fi­cult tasks of telling your sig­nif­i­cant other.

Wait To Have Sex If You Have A Cur­able STD

If you’re cur­rent­ly being treat­ed for a cur­able STD such as gon­or­rhea or chlamy­dia, you can wait to have sex and don’t need to bring the top­ic into the rela­tion­ship. If you know that their health won’t be at risk once you’ve fin­ished your course of antibi­otics and test neg­a­tive for the STD again, there’s no rea­son to bring it up.

If your part­ner wants to have sex, just let them know you’d rather wait until you get to know each oth­er bet­ter before you have sex.

How To Have The STD Talk For Incur­able Dis­eases – HIV, Her­pes, etc. 

Avoid Bring­ing It Up Early

Most peo­ple don’t tell every­thing about them­selves on the first date. After all, you could be on a date and real­ize that you have no chem­istry with this per­son. Why share some­thing so inti­mate with them if they’re only going to be friends?

How­ev­er, once peo­ple get their feel­ings involved, it’s time to broach the sub­ject with them. Only do this if you feel the rela­tion­ship could bud into some­thing even deep­er. Be aware for some peo­ple an STD is deal-break­er, and they could decide it’s too much for them.

Facts With­out Defensiveness

Be sure to state facts about your STD with­out por­tray­ing your­self as the vic­tim. You just need to tell them the truth and not be ashamed that you have the dis­ease. If you get defen­sive, your part­ner may get judg­men­tal. The dis­ease is not who you are.

Now, you may be wor­ried about their friends – what if they tell them? Most peo­ple keep that kind of things to them­selves but may share it with a close con­fi­dant to help them under­stand the situation.

When talk­ing to your oth­er half about the dis­ease, be sure to let them know how it will affect your sex life and how you can decrease the trans­mis­sion rate. For her­pes, you can reduce their chances of get­ting it by using con­doms and tak­ing antivi­ral med­ica­tions. Be sure spe­cif­ic infor­ma­tion is shared with them.

Pro­vide Them With Space

Expect­ing an imme­di­ate answer is a bad thing for you – it’s not going to hap­pen. Give them the facts, allow them to process it and let them know you hope they want to see you again too. Imme­di­ate reac­tions are only done out of duty or fear.

Don’t Go Into Back­ground Details

Many peo­ple make the mis­take of giv­ing the back­ground details of their STDs. How­ev­er, this is the last thing you should do. The best thing is to be as brief and fac­tu­al as pos­si­ble with­out pro­vid­ing them the how and why and where you got the dis­ease. In real­i­ty, it’s not real­ly their busi­ness to know all that. If they ask, you can share it if you want.


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